As days go by

I woke up this morning to a dream that had taken me back to my varsity days. No, I was not a student there anymore, but I was a brand new lecturer, about to into a class for my first introduction - with IU ahead of me in the scheme of things (yes, I watch way too many Korean dramas!😅

Anyway, dream aside, the halcyon days of my university days came rushing back as I awakened to the light of day - the names of our lecture halls, the hallways and stairwells we used to sit in and chat in-between classes, the cafeteria where we spent countless hours, and of course, proudly walking through campus with my husband (then boyfriend) who was a qualified doctor, a Masters student at the university hospital, dropping in to have lunch with me, or to pick me up. 

Walking through my garden a while later, I also realised that almost 30 years have passed since those precipitous days of youth. My children are now the ones in university and in high school, they are they ones who are now on the precipice of their lives. 

On this beautiful, quiet morning, with only the sounds of the occasional bird chirping and the hum of the neighbour's air-conditioning, I was alone with my thoughts as I pondered the years ahead. Looking up at the blue skies dotted by the green tips of tall trees in the cool morning, I felt the days passing me by. It was a scary feeling, tinged with apprehension, accomplishment, regret, satisfaction, anxiety and a whole lot of nostalgia. 

Apprehension because I know not what the days ahead will bring; accomplishment for the people my children have become and are becoming; regret that I did not do so many things that I could have done and could have achieved; satisfaction that my loved ones were well and healthy; anxiety because of the uncertainty of life and the changes that could descend without warning; and nostalgia for the days that have slipped through my fingers like fine sand.

This is who we are, beings filled with emotion and memories. This is what makes us human, they are the badges that have left their mark on our lives. Just like the boy scout badges of accomplishments, these memories and emotions attached with them are the notches of the successes and not-so-successful moments of our days. We should be proud of them, rejoice in that we had the opportunity for such experiences and hold dear the memories. 

And as we remember and reminisce, may we laugh out loud, feel uninhibited joy, shed tears or regret and remorse, ponder quietly and look ahead. 

Such is life...as the days go by.